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Robot Clitoris Teachers Became Hebephilia Primed

Let The Robot Drive: The Autonomous Car Of The Future Is Here by Tom Vanderbilt (Wired): Heard about Google’s self-driving car? Well, more and more car drivers are seeing cars as autonomous, and if you wanted, today, you could buy a Mercedes which is more or less a self-driving car - it automatically brakes if it sees something in the road, it buzzes the steering wheel if you cross lines without indicators, and it has a traffic jam mode. It even tells you when you need a break from driving based on judging how quickly you respond to things, how close you are to the lines - and flashes a coffee cup light at you. And humans are such shit drivers - so many people die on the roads - that this is probably better. [via]

The Nazi Leader Who, In 1937, Became The Oskar Schindler Of China by Iris Chang (The Atlantic): John Rabe was the head of Siemens in China, and a pillar of the German community in Nanking. And when Japanese troops swarmed China and started the ‘Rape of Nanking’, Rabe did some pretty amazing things - he wired Hitler asking him to tell the Japanese to behave, and as he would wander the streets, Chinese men would come up to him and tell him that their sister/wife/mother/daughter was currently being raped by a Japanese soldier. He would intrude upon the Japanese man, who would scream ‘Deutsche! Deutsche!’ and run. He also let thousands of women shelter in his backyard, where he and his people could watch over them so they wouldn’t be raped by Japanese soldiers. Shame about him also being a staunch Nazi.

The Internal Clitoris by MelodiousMsM (MoSex): You may well know where the clitoris is - the man in the boat? But that’s just the glans of the clitoris, the tip of the iceberg. It wasn’t until 2009 that there was a 3D sonography of an aroused clitoris, and it shows that most of the clitoris is internal, including bits that are underneath the vulva and a bit called the ‘corpus cavernosum’ which encircles the vagina. [via]

Hebephilia, The “Measurable Penis Response” And Psychological Damage In Children by scicurious (Neurotic Physiology): The writer/evolutionary psychologist Jesse Bering currently has a ‘Dear Jesse’ column, and one of his letters was from a self-professed hebephilia, a man who is sexually attracted to girls who are going through puberty. Which is, firstly, ewww. But Bering probably could have done more to show that hebephilia is not normal, and/or evolutionarily advantageous. And scicurious nails this - while most men *do* have a ‘measurable penile response’ in response to pictures of girls at puberty, this *does not* mean that those men are *attracted to* those girls. Believe it or not, men are not their penises, and ‘measurable penile response’ doesn’t necessarily mean a throbbing erection.

The Value Of Teachers by Nicholas D. Kristof (New York Times): A good fourth-grade teacher alone makes your child 1.25% more likely to go to university, and thus, on average, your child alone will earn $25,000 more in their lifetime if they have that good teacher. To put it another way, having a bad teacher is like missing 40% of your classes. Thus, if your child has a terrible teacher, it’s economically advantageous for you and other parents to offer that teacher thousands of dollars to quit teaching. [via]

Primed By Expectations: Why A Classic Psychology Experiment Isn’t What It Seemed by Ed Yong (Not Exactly Rocket Science): There’s a famous psychology experiment where some students were primed with the idea of ‘old’ whilst playing word games, and those students walked more slowly leaving the laboratory. Except, new research suggests that the original study failed to ‘double-blind’ the experimenters - it seems that it’s not the actually priming task, but the experimenters’ (unspoken) expectations that prime the students to make them walk slow.

Sexual Humans Between Good Military Aches

With proper descriptions:

Between The Lines by Dave Gardetta (Los Angeles Magazine): You know how you get shitty at having to pay for parking? I mean, it must be bad for businesses and stuff, right? Actually, no - it’s good for business, seemingly, and it turns out that actually not having to pay for parking generally makes life that little bit more annoying - it leads to people behaving irrationally, and costs us all a lot of money. [via]

The First Sexual Revolution: Lust And Liberty In The 18th Century by Faramerz Dabhoiwala (The Guardian): If I told you that clergymen had written books arguing that women should sleep with as many men as they like, that lust was natural and should not be a subject of law, and that boy-man sex was a sign of a particularly civilised society, would you guess that I was talking about clergymen from the 18th century? Well, I am. Dabhoiwala argues quite interestingly that the sexual revolution of the 18th century was even more influential than the one from the 1960s, and it’s hard to disagree. [via]

If Modern Humans Are So Smart, Why Are Our Brains Shrinking? by Kathleen McAuliffe (Discover): In the last 20,000 years, the average size of the human brain (at least, looking at Europe) has shrunken dramatically - on average, someone living 20,000 years ago had an extra tennis ball’s worth of brain that you don’t. And brain size is correlated with intelligence. Scientists have a bunch of theories as to why we are smaller-brained than our ancestors, but nobody really knows why. 

US Military Planned On Using Spy Crows To Find Osama Bin Laden by Mo Costandi (Neurophilosophy): Many spies have many eyes.

Aches On A Plane by Alan Bellows (Damn Interesting): Amazing story - in 1994, a flight engineer named Auburn Calloway who worked for FedEx decided to kill himself in order to get an insurance payout for his kids. And he decided to kill himself by crashing the plane he was on. Which he did by smuggling hammers on board, and using them to smash in the heads of the pilots. The walls of the plane were covered with their blood. And yet, let’s just say that Calloway…is now in prison. [via]

Good King John by Graham E. Seel (History Today): Seel argues that King John - of Robin Hood infamy - has a particularly bad reputation not because he was a terrible king, but because he was quite an effective king. Except, John didn’t have a good relationship with the Vatican. and it just so happens that the chroniclers whose writings we base our knowledge of John on were all monks. Who were likely to be biased. 

Plane King Shrinking Between Lust Crows

With descriptions care of @tiredjadeysays:

Between The Lines by Dave Gardetta (Los Angeles Magazine): Between the lines are other lines! And between those lines are even more lines! And more lines between those! What does it mean!? Whoa.

The First Sexual Revolution: Lust And Liberty In The 18th Century by Faramerz Dabhoiwala (The Guardian): “Imma sex you in the naughty bits.” “OH! Well I never!”

If Modern Humans Are So Smart, Why Are Our Brains Shrinking? by Kathleen McAuliffe (Discover): This is a very interesting article that discusses the reasons for our brains…doing…some stuff… and that. That dog has a puffy tail!

US Military Planned On Using Spy Crows To Find Osama Bin Laden by Mo Costandi (Neurophilosophy): Legolas, what do your elf-eyes see? Holy shit! US Military crows!

Aches On A Plane by Alan Bellows (Damn Interesting): Stop kicking the back of my seat, douchebag.

Good King John by Graham E. Seel (History Today):

Good king john

was a merry old soul

he called for his pipe

and called for his bowl

and something something something.

Number Ones: Flo Rida ft. Sia's 'Wild Ones'

In which I try to explain the appeal of Flo Rida with reference to Friedrich Nietzsche’s The Birth of Tragedy from the Spirit of Music. No, seriously. In the process I discuss Johnny O’Keefe, Newt Gingrich, Jack Kerouac, the man who survived after a railway spike was fired through his head, and the ventromedial prefrontal cortex. Oh, and why it’s weird to hear Sia in this context (but why she’s integral to the song).

The Australian Alternative: 1995-1998

This is a mix of mid-to-late 1990s Australian alternative rock that I threatened to make when I linked to my 1 Song A Day piece on Custard the other day. My rule for this compilation was five songs from each year, in chronological order, with two songs at most from each band. I’ve generally gone for very well known songs by very well known bands, with only a couple of songs that are relatively obscure. There are bands that probably should be on this mix - Grinspoon, Magic Dirt, and the Living End, for example - but whose albums I personally just never got around to buying, okay? Jeez. Stop complaining and make your own 90s mix if it matters that much to you!

(Edit: I have been informed that is not possible to cut the post if it is a link post. The wonders of tumblr! Sorry for making you scroll a lot if you don’t care about this!)

The mid-to-late 1990s were one of the healthiest times for Australian alternative rock. In Australia, the popularity of this music was driven very strongly by the national public-funded radio station Triple J. And by about 1995, you can see Triple J start to focus more solidly on alternative rock; before that it was more eclectic - it played Ace of Base as well as Nirvana. From 1996, Triple J was joined by a Saturday morning variety television show on public-funded ABC-TV called Recovery. Recovery (which also spawned a magazine) generally focused on alternative rock, and mixed up in-studio live footage, some music videos, and interviews (see an excruciating 1996 interview between Recovery’s Dylan Lewis and Rivers Cuomo, which is totally representative of the general awkwardness of every interview Dylan Lewis has ever done). There were also yearly alternative music festivals (Homebake, Livid, the Big Day Out, etc) which released compilation CDs and gave a lot of exposure to this music.

The spur for all this infrastructure behind a particular genre of music was ‘Tomorrow’ by Silverchair, which spent several weeks on top of the charts in 1994 and went on to international success. Triple J were amazed at the fervour of the reaction when they first started playing ‘Tomorrow’, and you get the impression that they decided to ride the bandwagon once they realised there was audience demand. As detailed in Craig Mathieson’s excellent 2000 book The Sell-In, Silverchair’s success spawned a record company bidding war for alternative rock bands, and renewed interest in actually marketing the alternative bands they had on their rosters. 

I personally got clued into this kind of music as a 13 year old when I watched the 1995 ARIAs, the Australian equivalent to the Grammys. There was a segment where the band TISM mimed their song ‘Greg! The Stop Sign!!’ crammed in a lift with various award presenters who were about to present awards, looking awkward. TISM, as you can see from the clip, performed whilst wearing balaclavas, and members had pseudonyms like Ron Hitler-Barassi (the actual Ron Barrassi being a football coach). As a 13 year old, this was very fascinating indeed - masked men harrassing celebrities in a lift, while singing lyrics like “sometime in the next 10,000 years, a comet’s gonna wipe out all trace of man/ I’m banking on it coming before my end of year exam”. When I went to buy the CD single at my local record store, it had a sticker on the front that said, ‘AS HEARD ON TRIPLE J’. I quickly discovered that, though a lot of Triple J’s playlist seemed pretty weird to me at first, that they also played a lot of the songs I liked the most. And, before too long, Triple J’s playlist didn’t seem so weird anymore. I remember seeing the names of some of the bands Triple J played, and thinking “is this too weird and scary for me?” and then actually hearing the music and thinking “oh, this is just pop music with loud guitars sung by regular-looking people”.

Anyway! Here’s the tracklist: 

1) You Am I - Cathy’s Clown (from Hi Fi Way, 1995). You Am I were like Gods astride the whole Triple J/Recovery scene. Their albums all debuted at #1 in the charts, they invariably got five star reviews everywhere they went, and the other bands in the scene clearly worshipped them (the ‘Chair’ in the name Silverchair allegedly came from the 1993 You Am I song ‘Berlin Chair’). The story of You Am I is quite similar to the story of Canada’s Sloan - both started off grungy, and gradually put more and more 60s/70s classic pop/rock in their sound. ‘Cathy’s Clown’ (not an Everlys cover) pretty much catches You Am I in the act of discovering their classic pop heart.

2) Custard - Apartment (from Wisenheimer, 1995). Custard were from Brisbane, and went to the university I now teach at. They had the alt-country leanings and odd guitar tunings of Pavement, and the punkish energy/nerdiness of, say, Pinkerton-era Weezer, and the (sometimes a little forced) wackiness of Ween. Dave McCormack, the lead singer, was/is an energetic showman, and you can hear him whooping and singing silly all over ‘Apartment’, one of their most successful songs.

3) TISM - Greg The Stop Sign (from Machiavelli And The Four Seasons, 1995). I already discussed this one above, but in case the balaclavas, album title and harrassment of celebrities didn’t clue you in, TISM were a very serious band. In fact, TISM stands for ‘This Is Serious Mum’, just to make sure you realise that they are serious. TISM often had better song titles than songs (track 1 on their first album was called ‘I’m Interested In Apathy’) but ‘Greg! The Stop Sign!!’ is catchy (I have no idea whether the chorus ripping off ‘Let The Sunshine In’ is intentional/ironic, but probably), with some killer lines.

4) Ammonia - Drugs (from Mint 400, 1995). This song was a hit in the US, right? If you’re American, it may well be the only song you know from this compilation. It’s a catchy bit of fluff with a soft-loud dynamic, but I remember hearing this song as a 13 year old and thinking that calling a song ‘Drugs’ was deliciously naughty. Ammonia’s second album Eleventh Avenue was recorded with Dave Fridmann, and is a much more sober/mature/well-constructed album, but this still has an agreeable energy to it.

5) Tumbleweed - Nothin’ To Do With The Weather (from Galactaphonic, 1995). Tumbleweed came from a small town to the south of Sydney called Wollongong, and their reputation wasn’t so much ‘tumble’ as ‘weed’ - when I first heard of Kyuss being described as ‘stoner rock’, my response was ‘oh, they sound like Tumbleweed?’. As a teenager, I didn’t really understand all this, but when I moved to Wollongong to go to uni, I eventually got the picture; Wollongong is a small working-class kind of town with a big industry that no longer employs a tenth of the employees that it used to, and Tumbleweed pretty well sum up the ennui of such a place.

6) Pollyanna - Lemonsuck (from Longplayer, 1996). Pollyanna’s Wikipedia entry compares them to Husker Du or Sugar, but while the sound isn’t too far away from that, the tone of their music is different; there’s something about the female backing vocals and the way Matt Handley uses chords that makes Pollyanna sound reassuring where Bob Mould sounds embittered. And ‘Lemonsuck’ has a killer chorus, and a killer riff in the verses, at least as far as I’m concerned. I recently had a discussion on Facebook about the relative merits of sucking on lemons compared to sucking on limes after someone posted this song; I gather the metaphorical difference is the extent and size of the sourness. 

7) Regurgitator - I Sucked A Lot Of Cock To Get Where I Can (from Tu Plang, 1996). Regurgitator must have been a nightmare for their record company. They were clearly terribly talented, so much so that they couldn’t decide what genre they wanted to play, and they were unable to take the whole thing very seriously. So on their first EP they were doing what now sounds like nu-metal - Quan, the lead singer, rapped over metal riffs. But by the time their album came out, they were bored of that. So ‘I Sucked A Lot Of Cock…’ has a punk sound to it and proper singing instead of rapping, and the lyrics make fun of the fact that a major label was silly enough to sign them for lots of money. When Quan sings ‘just keep rinsing out again and again’, it’s a Lady MacBeth-style reaction to the artistic blood on his hands, trying to negotiate between his artistic whims and the desires of the record company.

8) Spiderbait - Buy Me A Pony (from Ivy And The Big Apples, 1996). Spiderbait were a fairly established indie band that had been snapped up by a major in the wake of Silverchair, and ‘Buy Me A Pony’, like Regurgitator’s ‘I Sucked A Lot Of Cock…’ took the piss out of the industry, biting the hand that feeds it. Kram, Spiderbait’s drummer/singer, sings the lyrics from the perspective of the record company executive courting the band: “you’re almost on your way to popularity and we’ll teach to you play with icy stare and punk rock hair and beatnik flare”. But before long “we just received a call/ we’ll have to dump you all/ but don’t you try to pass us by/ cos we own you until we’re through/ and there’s so many round like you”. For such a snarky record-industry-focused song, it was also a massive success (this song was voted as #1 in Triple J’s yearly Hottest 100 poll in 1996); I guess that being a band in the grip of the record industry is probably a lot like being a teenager living in society. Or maybe Spiderbait’s guitar sound is just awesome - it’s so fuzzy that it sort of sounds like a needle

9) Deadstar - Don’t It Get You Down (from Milk, 1996). Listening to Milk, you can sort of tell that Deadstar had figured out that distorted guitars were in; this is basically a conventional pop song that’s had the recording conventions of the mid-1990s applied to it. The guitars don’t sound integral to the songs in the way they do for, say, Spiderbait. But it’s a great song, with several hooks and a great vocal performance from Caroline Kennedy. (Deadstar’s other creative presence was Barry Palmer, who had been in a very successful 1980s rock band called Hunters and Collectors, and who after Deadstar found a career as a successful producer.)

10) The Fauves - Self Abuser (from Future Spa, 1996). The lead singer from the Fauves famously admitted in an interview that, even though he’d been a rock star for a couple of years, he was still a virgin, and not really out of choice. Opinion at the time seemed divided as to whether this was the truth or just a ploy to get groupies. But, whichever way, you get the impression that he probably knew quite alot about ‘self abuse’, and it’s a sweet song in a lot of ways, encouraging the teenagers of Australia to not feel like losers because of their self-lovin’ ways.

11) Jebediah - Leaving Home (from Slightly Odway, 1996). Kevin Mitchell’s voice may be an acquired taste? It’s pretty nasal. But Triple J made you acquire that taste quickly enough, because they flogged Jebediah, and they were very successful for a while there. They seemed to incessantly play all-ages shows and festivals and support slots to international bands; even though I wasn’t as into Jebediah as some other bands, they were at one point the band I’d seen live the most. When I got older and heard more American indie music from the early 1990s (Superchunk, for example), I was surprised to find out how much some of it sounded like Jebediah to me. 

12) Sidewinder - Titanic Days (from Tangerine, 1997). Sidewinder started out as a shoegaze-style band in the early 1990s, but gradually acquired more pop hooks, and more diverse influences. It’s not quite as obvious on ‘Titanic Days’ as on some other tracks on the album, but Tangerine in general often sounds like Sidewinder heard the Chemical Brothers’ ‘Setting Sun’ and wanted to make their shoegazey guitar band sound as gigantic and psychedelic as that song. Noel Gallagher/Oasis had the same motivation for Be Here Now but to my ears ‘Titanic Days’ is much more successful at this than, say, ‘D’You Know What I Mean’, possibly because it has twice as much substance in half the length? (though I’m sure the length of the lines of substances were quite large during the making of Be Here Now…)

13) Big Heavy Stuff - May (from Maximum Sincere, 1997). Something about Greg Atkinson’s voice and the sound of Big Heavy Stuff radiates a keen intelligence and integrity; the lyrics of ‘May’ seem like Atkinson going back and forth trying to figure out exactly how some of his faults work. Incidentally, the drummer from Big Heavy Stuff is a lovely guy called Nick Kennedy who now works at the best-indie-record-store-in-Sydney-by-a-mile, Red Eye (he still drums - I’ve played on stage with him a few times). The last time I stopped into Red Eye, I bought a Verlaines album, Hallelujah All The Way Home, which prompted him to very enthusiastically discuss their apparently-much-neglected later discography and the lead singer’s recent solo albums. And I think you can also hear that level of music nerdery in Big Heavy Stuff’s music, in a good way.

14) Custaro - Music Is, Crap (from We Have The Technology, 1997): Written and sung by Custard’s drummer Glenn Thompson (who later played in the Go-Betweens, and, erm, my band Lazy Susan), the song’s chorus points out that music is crap as far as aliens are concerned. Elsewhere in the song, Thompson points out that music genre doesn’t matter: whether you like rock, pop, or metal, aliens don’t give a shit. It all sounds like crap to them. And considering that our ears developed for a specific environmental niche that aliens are unlikely to share, it is scientifically likely that aliens will think that music in general is crap. The logical corollary of Thompson’s argument is that, considering the cosmos, music is a silly thing to be interested in, and that we should do something more useful with our lives rather than play and listen to music. Yet, you know that Thompson doesn’t actually believe music is crap. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be singing the song, would he?

15). Regurgitator - ! (The Song Formerly Known As) (from Unit, 1997). Yup, the same band that in 1995 was doing nu-metal, in 1996 was doing sarcastic punk, in 1997 went Prince. Unit, in general, showed Regurgitator’s love of the synth sounds of the 1980s, and Unit is very ahead of its time - after all, there was a lot of Prince in MGMT. But for a song so danceable, the joke is that the lyrics are about how much Quan hates nightclubs and live venues; he’d rather dance in ugly pants in the comfort of his loungeroom in suburbia. Except that it’s only a joke on the surface, underneath it’s a sweet love song.

16). You Am I - Heavy Heart (from #4 Record, 1998): So You Am I started off grungy, and ended up somewhere near power pop. And, well, the version of #4 Record I have has a bonus disc called Radio Settee, and Tim Rogers did always want to be a Big Star. But ‘Heavy Heart’ would be a beautiful ballad whoever it sounded like; it’s a devastating, mopey, break-up song, full of keenly observed lyrics: he feels ‘like a waterlogged ball that no-one wants to kick around anymore’, and, as far as he’s concerned, his heart is ‘just a low rent paying, palpitating pulp under my shirt’.

17) Snout - Circle High And Wide (from Circle High And Wide, 1998): I love the misdirection at the start of the song. At first it sounds like hushed folk, as singer Ross McLennan sings softly, ‘still we fly, fly, fly’. But as he continues, ‘hey hey hey, my my my’, the tension in the song builds and builds, until the song explodes into Snout’s regular style - they have the punky energy, mod style, and melodic touch of The Jam, but Snout are also funky in a way that The Jam are not, with syncopated grooves and the occasional drum fill/breakbeat that you could imagine a hip-hop producer delighting in discovering.

18) Hot Rollers - Wickerman’s Shoes (from Hot Rollers, 1998). One mark of a ‘scene’, a musical movement, is collaborations between musicians from different bands; think of Temple Of The Dog, the Monsters of Folk, or Tinted Windows. And the Hot Rollers were one of these; they were Richie Lewis, lead singer of Tumbleweed, and Kram, the singer/drummer in Spiderbait. The Hot Rollers’ album is pretty hit and miss, but ‘Wickerman’s Shoes’ is one of the hits - Richie’s droning stoner vocals combined with Kram’s more pop instincts just works.

19) Happyland - Don’t You Know Who I Am? (from Welcome To Happyland, 1998): I’ve sort of misrepresented Spiderbait by calling Kram the singer/drummer; he shared vocal duties with Janet English, the bassplayer, and she sung some of their more notable songs (e.g., ‘Calypso’, which was a top 20 single). Happyland was her equivalent 1998 side-project with Quan from Regurgitator (her boyfriend at the time). It combines Regurgitators synth-sound fixation of the time with her child-like sing-songy vocals, and there’s something great about hearing such a child-like voice singing lines like ‘he’s smoking crack with Billy’.

20) Powderfinger - Already Gone (from Internationalist, 1998). Powderfinger first tasted success in 1996 with a song called ‘Pick You Up’, which was moody grunge-lite, musically reminiscent of Pearl Jam (if they ever met, I’m sure Pearl Jam and Powderfinger would have fights about who was the biggest Neil Young fan, while My Morning Jacket smirked in the corner), though Bernard Fanning’s vocals are higher-pitched than Vedder’s, with more soul singer affectations. On Internationalist, Powderfinger expanded their sound in a variety of directions, becoming more explicitly political here, simpler there, and anthemic over there, etc. ‘Already Gone’ is appealingly simple and Beatlesque, but elsewhere on Internationalist, Powderfinger discovered the formula for anthemic rock that would a) make them phenomenally successful and b) would mark the end of the Australian alternative era. On Internationalist, Powderfinger discovered how to make music that would appeal to both Triple J types and people with more commercial tastes. When they sharpened and expanded this mainstream appeal on the follow up to Internationalist, called Odyssey Number Five, they scored one of the biggest selling albums in Australia in the 2000s. This ultimately meant that the sound of alternative rock filtered into the mainstream, and wasn’t ‘ours’ anymore. In 1998, for example, there was a band called Eskimo Joe who sounded like Weezer - their first successful song was even called ‘Sweater’; two years later, in 2000 (like Powderfinger) they were aiming for combination alternative/mainstream success, making lush, well-produced pop. And, as I grew older and alternative rock lost more and more of its novelty, my musical tastes had slowly moved from alternative rock to music which more or less deliberately eschewed loud distorted guitars. Radiohead’s Kid A, for example, seemed like the right thing at the right time to me.

Many of these bands kept at it, mind you - Spiderbait had a #1 hit in 2004 with a cover of ‘Black Betty’, Regurgitator recorded an album inside a bubble in public square in Melbourne for a cable TV channel, You Am I are now an institution - but they no longer felt like part of a scene. The Fauves were dropped by their label in 1999, and their lead singer ended up with an agony aunt segment on JJJ (they still release independent albums). Bands like Pollyanna and Snout released albums in 2001 and Triple J didn’t bother adding them to the playlist, and so quietly disbanded. Kevin Mitchell from Jebediah first started a solo career playing Jon Brion-influenced pop, and eventually joined a CSNYesque 4-singer-songwriting harmony group project. David McCormack from Custard now writes jingles for TV. And so it goes.

Music Dump - Lana Del Rey's Skrillex Abuses Lady Gaga's Cee-Lo

Elmo Keep joins the KISS Navy, and it’s a supposedly fun thing she’ll probably do again; Nitsuh Abebe on the way emo kids are probably going to bring that aesthetic to other forms of music and create something new; Carles on his abusive co-dependent relationship with Lana Del Rey; examining the myths of self-destruction in an old interview with Townes Van Zandt; Lady Gaga’s childhood home, and her boy troubles; why Cee-Lo Green makes most of his money away from iTunes; Azealia Banks and the women MCs who may well be the next big thing; Ann Powers on why pop is just slightly sexualised right now. 

1 Song A Day: Custaro - 'Music Is, Crap'

In which I pine for the glory days of the late 1990s, when Australian alternative music was thriving just as stuff like Britpop and American alternative rock was going down the toilet. And, of course, seeing as how I think that kind of thing is awesome (possibly because of the age I am and where I grew up?), I picked a song called ‘Music Is Crap’.

If anyone cares, I’ll post a compilation of late 1990s Australian alternative music up here too!

Number Ones: Foster The People's 'Pumped Up Kicks'

The current Australian number one is ‘Pumped Up Kicks’, largely because it was recently featured in a commercial for XXXX beer, I think. (The song is 18 months old, Australians knew about it at least a year ago, and it’s almost comical how much the world has changed in the last 18 months). So in this piece I talk about advertising and music, and about the song being about a massacre and whether that matters very much, etc.

Cambridge Genius Untangling Darwin’s Apostrophe Murder

The Shocking True Tale Of The Mad Genius Who Invented Sea Monkeys by Evan Hughes (The Awl): Harold von Braunhaut was on the surface an amiable inventor, the man behind sea monkeys, X-ray spex, the game Balderdash, and Invisible Goldfish. He was also a Jewish man who was a member of racist right-wing group Aryan Nation. [via]

Inside Darwin’s Tumor by Carl Zimmer (The Loom): We see cancer as being a single monolithic entity, but every cancerous cell that will ever be in your body was is descended from a normal cell that mutated. And once those cancerous cells start actively mutating (e.g., once you get a cancerous growth), they keep mutating. And as the cancerous cells multiply and mutate, it gets more and more likely that one of those mutated cancers is resistant to the chemotherapy and the radiation. It’s almost the perfect case of natural selection, of how Darwin thought evolution worked.

Making Murder Respectable (The Economist): The Economist give us a joyful romp through the euphemisms of the world here, from “tired and emotional” (meaning “drunk” in English newspapers), to how “old-fashioned” in personal ads (which means “inconsiderate” if male or “uninterested in sex” if female) to “playing the bamboo flute” (oral sex in Japanese, apparently).

So Who Is Good Enough To Get Into Cambridge? by Jeevan Vasagar (The Guardian): Vasagar watches the dons of Cambridge as they sort applications, as they try to find the best candidates. It’s a radically different system to the U.S. (where extracurricular stuff seems to matter more) or Australia (where you get a number from 20 something to 100.00 based on your year 12 results, and the people with the highest numbers who apply for a course get in). Interestingly, the dons seem to be of the opinion that, if you were taught reasonably well at a state school and did well in the exams, you probably have a better chance of doing well at university than if you went to an expensive private school where you were mollycoddled. It’s sad to see the dons reject applications from students who clearly are smart enough but were taught so badly by their teachers that they would need too much remedial education to get to where they needed to be.

Untangling Rebekah Brooks by Suzanna Andrews (Vanity Fair): A history of Murdoch’s right-hand woman Rebekah Brooks, and how she got into the kind of position where she was in charge of Murdoch’s newspaper empire after starting off as a lowly secretary. Article seems to be of the opinion that it is entirely possible that Brooks actually knew nothing about the phone hacking, that she was too focused on sucking up to the boss to pay attention to what was going on under her command (in which case she’s incompetent). [via]

The Politics (And Lies) Of The Apostrophe by Michael Rosen (Michael Rosen): The way that English does apostrophes makes little sense. There’s no rhyme or reason to the fact that we write “Tim’s” and “anybody’s” but don’t write “her’s”. Rosen makes the point that punctuation usage is ultimately about power - if you have the power to set the rules. [cheers to Suse]

Prime Violinists Leave Baseball Game Cells

Insider Baseball by Joan Didion (New York Review Of Books): This essay just nails the ways in which politics is basically upmarket reality TV (in that almost everything about what most people see and read about politics is content which has been deliberately manufactured to fill in TV newstime), where the journalists and politicians have an unspoken knowledge of the rules of the game. All of which prevents outsiders (e.g., large swathes of the 99%) from having much of a say in the political process, and prevents important issues from being debated. And it’s exactly the same in Australia. [via Jay Rosen, who also has interesting/related things to say about coverage of the US Republican primaries]

Test of Time: In Defense Of A Game That Lasts Five Days by Wright Thompson (ESPN): The form of cricket called ‘test cricket’ is a very strange thing: a game lasts for five whole days, and quite often ends in a draw. And a game where, though the point is to score runs by hitting balls, there are batsmen who are earnestly praised for their ability to not hit the balls. Though for something so strange, it’s extremely popular right now in Australia - it’s more or less the biggest news story going between Christmas and mid-January. I was watching a test between Australia and India the other day, and where other games have cheerleaders and sirens and so forth, this game had artists stationed around the stadium, some of whom drew impressionist pieces of the game. Anyway, Thompson is an American who is baffled by the appeal of this very strange game (which I do love and have strong opinions about), and who goes to all five days of a test to try and understand how such a game could possibly survive into the 21st century. In the end, he seems to think that test cricket is basically a form of Zen.

Our Selves, Other Cells by Jena Pincott (Boing Boing): When you’re a foetus, inside your mother’s belly, you swap cells with your mother. By the end of pregnancy, about 6 percent of the DNA in your mother’s bloodstream comes from the fetus. And some of the cells in your body, to this day, actually have your mother’s DNA. Which is amazing when you think about it, and may well explain things like babybrain.

Anesthesia May Leave Patients Conscious - And Finally Show Consciousness In The Brain by Vaughan Bell (The Crux): Doctors assume that patients are unconscious if they do not respond to prodding or talking. This is not always the case - perhaps 1 in 1000 people who go under don’t actually go fully under. And such phenomena may say very interesting things about the workings of the mind. (Though the examples of people who are not fully unconscious that Bell gives here seem much more like people dreaming than people who are semi-conscious - or is that the idea?)

The Prime Minister Who Disappeared by Mike Dash (Past Imperfect): In 1967, an Australian Prime Minister named Harold Holt literally disappeared. He went for a swim on a beach (somewhat foolhardily, considering) and drowned; his body was sucked under the water and he was never seen again. Of course, there were conspiracy theories about him boarding a Chinese submarine. Sadly, Dash’s article forgets to mention the existence in Melbourne of the Harold Holt Swim Centre, a suburban public pool, named in somewhat poor taste (but possibly typical Australian humour).

Violinists Can’t Tell The Difference Between Stradivarius Violins And New Ones by Ed Yong (Not Exactly Rocket Science): Of course they can’t - it’s all placebo effect. I’m very curious to see if guitar nerds can actually tell the difference between the tones of the various electric guitars and amps that they talk about at such length. (Maybe I should do a study on this?)