There is a new Nickelback single.
[Scene: Australian treasurer JOE HOCKEY sits back in his comfy chair in his office, an unlit cigar in his hand. A BUTLER hovers unobtrusively. There is a knock on the door. An UNDERLING enters the room, carrying a smartphone]
UNDERLING: Mister Hockey, there is some important news.
HOCKEY: Oh yes? Is it as surprising as the news that the underclasses still have cars these days?
UNDERLING: Um…no, Mister Hockey. But I was here because—
HOCKEY: Out with it, underling!
UNDERLING: Well, you said you wanted to know when there was a new Nickelback single.
HOCKEY: Phew, I thought this was going to be about how badly we were polling. Good news for a change!
UNDERLING: I have the song here on my phone.
HOCKEY: Even better! Put it on the stereo, Jeeves.
[The UNDERLING gives the portable music device to the BUTLER, who connects it to the stereo, while Hockey lights a cigar]
HOCKEY: Underling, leave me.
[The song plays, as HOCKEY smokes a cigar and the UNDERLING leaves]
HOCKEY: Why are people so down on Nickelback? Surely with Foo Fighters they are the closest modern rival to AC/DC for a sing a long rock!
[HOCKEY gets a happy faraway look on his face as he hears Kroeger’s voice howl]
HOCKEY [to BUTLER]: You know, I was worrying about how things were polling before, but this music nourishes my soul…you know, now I feel like slashing more funding again.
BUTLER [mildly reproaching]: Very good, sir.